apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
