In the future we'll all be gay
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
