I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
