I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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