So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
