I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he laminated a picture of his dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
