I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize