"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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