East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize