i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
