I should be sponsored by Trojan
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
