You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
