I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
