at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
