this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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