So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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