Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
