Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
