guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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