another moral hangover. fuck.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
