worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
