If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize