im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
