Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My penis needs a shock collar
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize