I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
