if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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