I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
