i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
