So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
