PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
