So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize