Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
