physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
