is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
