I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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