Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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