think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize