Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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