I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
