I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
