oh god the rape fog is back!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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