Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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