ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.

  Fav 3 1564 806

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

  Fav 16 8176 1433

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

  Fav 21 6648 1630

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

  Fav 12 3666 1840

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i hate you

  Fav 43 23541 2197

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

  Fav 10 1802 1007

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (713): View more from Texas

  It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution

  Fav 9 1083 951

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES

  Fav 15 1454 1058

  share tweet
  

• (334): View more from Alabama

  this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him

  Fav 1 937 594

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.

  Fav 0 628 485

  share tweet
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER

  Fav 3 297 126

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.

  Fav 3 141 271

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me

  Fav 1 224 98

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.

  Fav 4 136 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF

  Fav 0 24 38

  share tweet
  

Randomize