you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
