I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
