just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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