you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
