so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
