Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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