btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
