i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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