I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize