So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
