i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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