marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
