Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
