Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
