i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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