That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize