Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize