I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
